Read This When You Get Tired Of Living Your Life

Have you ever had days when you felt like no matter how hard you tried, no matter how hard you pushed yourself, it just wasn’t working? When the desire to sit still or lie in bed all day was so strong that no amount of coffee could get you moving?

My desire to not do anything was so strong it made me hate myself.

Sometimes I would stare at the wall of my room and just sit in my bed. Some days, I would find myself crying alone. 

I was ruined by disappointment due to some painful experiences. One day I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to talk it all out:

“Hey! You! Yes! You! You’re such a disappointment. You’re worthless. Look at yourself. How can you even lift yourself up? You are a mess.”

I cried. I just cried for a couple of hours. Isolated myself from people for days. No more morning routine. No more afternoon jogs. Nothing.

But when I woke up one morning, I decided to get out. The sunrise was so beautiful. It felt like the sun was a symbol of new begging. Hope. Positivity. Joy. And most importantly, self-love.

This is what I realized.

“You have a choice. You need to realize that you have a choice in everything. You have a choice to whether allow yourself to feed into the sad and depressing situation you are in or to close your eyes and try to go back to sleep whenever you’d wake up at 3am.

You have a choice to either get up and do your daily routine or just stay in bed the entire day and be consumed by disappointment and heartbreak.

You have a choice to still continue to be a hot mess or to love yourself regardless.”

So, whatever you’re feeling right now, I encourage you to please choose the latter. Choose to be optimistic and positive about the things that’s happening to you.

Remember that pain is temporary.

You might be hurting right now, you might even think of giving up on life. Trust me, I’ve been there, done that. Its not going to help. To allow yourself to be consumed by sadness is tiring.

So one day, when you realize you’re too tired of all the pain and sadness, please choose to do something that can make you feel better. Eat ice cream, cry, scream, run, paint — do whatever but never try to kill yourself.

You will be okay. You will be fine. Believe in yourself.

Believe that you can get through this bullshit and one day you’ll wake up and look at yourself in the mirror and you’ll be proud that your better, stronger and happier than you were a few weeks ago, a few months ago because won the fight.

But more than anything, please always remember that self-love is so important. It can move mountains and build beautiful things.

Love yourself always. Please.

Don't judge a book by its cover

Why do people judge others without even knowing them?

It's human nature- really it's in the nature of all social animals- to be judgmental, and, more to the point, to be able to judge others quickly.

In my humble opinion people think that they know everything. Basically they don't want to listen to your point of views. They already tend to have a notion about what should be the possibility seeing your conditions. There are many possibilities in life but eventually they are overlooked.

People try to put you in a box telling your boundaries and limitations. It takes hardly a minute to form an image of you in their minds which won’t change until something dramatic happens. So unfortunately they see your credentials, not your hidden talent. 

People always tend to see themselves as being better or placed higher on the pyramid than others. The only way to escape from the constant onslaught of negativity is to either escape the toxic environment or start looking at the judgemental people consciously, although the latter advice is more difficult to manage just because they manducate your precious energy away, hence it is wiser to just completely abstain from even engaging with people. Your time is precious, spend it with people that are of the right attitude and hold to higher moral principles. Be open to the light rather than the dark. Good luck!

“Don't judge a book by its cover” 
― George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss

“Never judge someone's character based on the words of another. Instead, study the motives behind the words of the person casting the bad judgment.” 
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

Kerana Jodoh Rahsia Allah

Ku coba mengerti siapa diriku
Di dalam hidupmu
Apa maunya lagi
Jika kau tak mampu
Mengingin cintaku

Biar berat ku menghadapi
Tidakkan ku ulangi meminta hatimu
Tak pernah ku sesali
Hadirmu di hatiku
Walau hariku aku jalani tanpa dirimu

Kita Hanya Mampu Merancang, Allah Yang Menentukan

"Kita sering merancang suatu hari nanti kita akan hidup bahagia dengan si dia, insan tersayang, kadangkala ada pasangan tu bercinta bertahun tahun, dan terus berharap impian untuk mendirikan masjid dengan si dia yang kita sangkakan tulang rusuk kita. Tapi berapa ramai yang dapat memenuhi impian itu? Kita ini manusia, dan sesungguhnya kita hanya mampu merancang, tapi sebaik baik perancangan adalah daripada Allah juga

Jodoh itu Allah tentukan, dan kita tidak mampu untuk mengetahui dan meramalkan apa yang akan berlaku di masa hadapan. Bukankah Allah itu Maha Mengetahui? Kadang-kadang kita menyangka, kita dengan si dia dekat dan amat rapat dalam hubungan. Dan selalu kita sangka dia lah segalanya dan yakin dialah jodoh kita sehingga kita lupa pada suratan dan takdir yang telah Dia tentukan. Itulah rahsia yang kita tidak akan tahu dalam kehidupan kita.

Dan siapa sangka orang yang kita benci menjadi jodoh kita, dan siapa sangka orang yang kita tak pernah kenal itu jodoh kita, dan siapa sangka orang yang kita anggap sebagai teman biasa itu jodoh kita, dan siapa sangka orang yang tidak cantik itu jodoh kita. Wah, indahkan hidup ini. Setiap yang hidup di dunia ini, Allah dah tentukan dan tunjukkan, cuma kita je yang perlu membuat pilihan yang tepat. Belajarlah untuk mensyukuri apa yang ada, apa yang menjadi milik kita, sebab wanita dan lelaki tu semua, tapi kita boleh mencorakkan mereka.

Jodoh itu rahsia Allah. Sekuat mana kita setia, selama mana kita menunggu, sehebat mana kita merancang, sekeras mana kita bersabar, sejujur mana kita berbagi kasih, ia tetap rahsia Allah.

Jodoh, ajal, rezeki, itu semua rahsia Dia. Sehebat manapun kita dalam mencorak kehidupan kita, takkan mampu kita selaraskan dengan perancangan Dia.

“Tidakkah engkau tahu bahawa Allah mengetahui apa yang di langit dan di bumi. Sungguh, yang demikian itu sudah terdapat dalam sebuah kitab (Lauh Mahfuz). Sesungguhnya yang demikian itu sangat mudah bagi Allah”. (QS. Al-Hajj 22. Ayat 70)

Sentiasalah bersangka baik dengan Allah.

Sedangkan kita juga belum tahu, antara kafan dan gaun pengantin, mana yang kita akan sarung dahulu; antara jodoh dan maut, yang mana akan melamar dahulu.

Memories me and you

Memories, even bittersweet ones, are better than nothing. Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart.

That's the thing about memories, you can't forget them.

Cause you never think that the last time is the last time. You think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don’t.

– Grey’s Anatomy